Dealing with someone who has narcissistic tendencies, whether it is at your place of work, in your friendship circle, or within your family unit, can be incredibly challenging and lead to feelings of low self-worth, confusion and anxiety. People with narcissistic qualities by definition have an inflated sense of their own importance and view themselves as superior to others, have a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, can be overtly critical, controlling and demeaning, and also lack empathy for others. They can be notoriously difficult to get along with and in close relationships can often create a lot of pain and suffering. However, there are effective strategies and professional support available to help manage these types of relationships.
Understanding Narcissism
First, it’s essential to understand what narcissism is. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterised by a long-term pattern of abnormal behaviour and difficulties with interpersonal relationships. Personality Disorders are by nature fixed over time and resistant to change.
While it’s important not to label every difficult person as a narcissist, recognising the following traits can help you understand their behaviour:
- Sense of self-importance
- Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
- Entitled
- Can only be around people who are important or special
- Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
- Arrogant
- Lack empathy
- Must be admired
Most people who display these characteristics may have had their own trauma from early life, usually in the form of neglectful / impoverished or abusive family relationships.
It is also worth noting that narcissism falls on a spectrum and while some people display pathological levels of these characteristics, others display narcissistic tendencies that are less extreme.
Coping Strategies
Set Boundaries: One of the most important steps in dealing with people who display these narcissistic characteristics is to set clear, firm boundaries. Narcissists often push limits and try to control others. Clearly defining what behaviour you will and will not accept is crucial, and then sticking to these limits despite feeling pressure not to.
Manage Your Expectations: Understand that you may never get the validation or empathy you seek from a narcissist. Adjusting your expectations can help reduce frustration and disappointment, especially in the case of a narcissistic parent or partner.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being. Spend time with supportive friends and family, and ensure you have time for relaxation and hobbies you enjoy. Ensuring that you get plenty of space from the emotional intensity of the relationship is important to maintain your self-esteem.
Avoid Power Struggles: Narcissists often enjoy power struggles. Try not to engage in arguments or attempts to change their behaviour. Instead, focus on how you can manage your reactions and protect your well-being.
Seek Support: Talking to friends, family, or support groups who understand your situation can provide emotional relief and practical advice.
How a Psychologist Can Help
Professional help can be invaluable when dealing with people in your life who show narcissistic behaviours. Here’s how a psychologist can support you:
- Providing Insight: A psychologist can help you understand the narcissist’s behaviour and its impact on you. This awareness can be empowering and help you develop effective coping strategies, reducing your sense of confusion and providing more clarity.
- Developing Coping Mechanisms: Through therapy, you can learn and practice techniques to manage stress, set boundaries, and communicate more effectively with the narcissist in your life.
- Building Self-Esteem: Narcissists can often erode the self-esteem of those around them. A psychologist can work with you to rebuild your confidence and self-worth, helping you to feel stronger and more resilient.
- Offering a Safe Space: Therapy provides a confidential, non-judgmental space to express your feelings and experiences. This can be particularly important if you feel isolated or misunderstood by others in your life.
- Creating an Action Plan: A psychologist can help you develop a personalised action plan for dealing with the narcissist, tailored to your specific situation and needs.
If you would like further information, please contact our reception at Mindwell Psychology on 03 5215 6262 to speak with one of our highly trained Psychologists.